Theatre Etiquette: Sit Down and Shut Up!

Most people already know how frustrating it can be to be in a movie theater with people who won't stop talking. You're trying to pay attention to what's being said, and you can lose entire pieces of dialogue to their insensitive babbling.

In Live Theatre, however, the problem is far worse. Now they're not only annoying the other audience members, they're distracting the performers.

This post is necessitated by a rather unpleasant theatre-going experience I had a few weeks ago. I was seeing Touchstone Theater's Halloween show Into The Dark. The doors opened, the crowd shuffled in and took their seats, the lights went down...

And two women behind me refused to stop talking. THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SHOW.

This can go to different levels, and most actors know how to deal with a loud audience. Sometimes, though, it just gets ridiculous.

• Small bursts of whispered chatter are common, but manageable. People aren't likely to get too upset unless it goes on for long periods of time, or happens during very quiet sections of the play. If you need to ask a friend for clarification on a plot point, and you absolutely can't wait until intermission or after the show, try to make it as quick as possible. People around you might be annoyed, but you're taking that risk.
• Speaking above a whisper is likely to draw the ire of every other being in the theater. There is really no acceptable reason to be talking out loud while the play is going on. Intermission will be coming up, save your conversations for then!
• Yet, what these women did at this show was even more heinous; They spoke directly to one of the actresses as she was performing. Now, sometimes, there will be an audience participation element to a show, and then that's fine, but under any other circumstances this is ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE. In this case, it was as a reaction to a jump scare from the beginning of the show, and the woman was repeatedly saying "Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream..."

But it really doesn't matter what you're saying. You're in the theater. You paid money to be there. Probably at least $15. Now it's time to shut up. :)

(I feel like I need to add, it's fine to laugh if you find something funny. Laughter is desired. When something is funny, you don't need to stifle that.)

When I feel like talking, it always helps to remember: There's a special layer of hell for Child Molesters and People Who Talk At The Theater.